Once Upon A Mew Mew
by TwystedCareBear
Summary: Sword-chan got a Grimm's Fairy Tale book from her grandparents... so of course, she's gonna Mew Mew-afy some of the tales! The lesser known ones! Maddness much -
1. The Brother And The Sister

Sword-chan- - Hi. This is my newest fanfiction… I like the title, for some odd reason… **_Once Upon A Mew Mew_**. Catchy, eh? The fair maiden/kings/princes/queens will vary, or maybe they won't. I just don't wanna ruin anything for you. This will be in script-ish form. Because I'm feeling lazy. The object of this fanfiction was to be funny, and to re-do as well as shed some light on not-so-well known fairy tales. Enjoy teh weirdness.

**X.x.X- Tale 1- The Brother And The Sister -X.x.X**

**You see Taruto and Ichigo in rags. They are on a stone path, seems to be in front of a small house. They both have bruises on random parts of their bodies.**

Taruto- C'mon, wench, our stepmom has been beating us up every day. So we've gotta roll.

Ichigo- WENCH? HOW DARE YOU CALL YOUR SISTER THAT YOU LITTE——!

Taruto- Shut **_up_**. Do you want her to hear us?

Ichigo- … fine.

Both- :: start walking into the forest ::

**A bit later…**

Ichigo- Eep! This forest is so deep and sca… sca… SCARY!

Taruto- A dead bird… Cool…

Ichigo- :: screams at sight of dead bird :: :: faints ::

Taruto- :: kicks Ichigo :: Come on, get up. We have a 'fairy tale' to do.

Ichigo- u.u Fine, have it **_your_** way, red haired little brat.

Taruto- Wench!!

Ichigo- Midget!!

Taruto- :: gasp :: HOW DARE YOU?

Ichigo- :: sticks out tongue ::

**Little did these two… big, sparkly eyed… individuals… know that their step-mother was… :: gasp :: A witch. She bewitched every body of water, blah blah blah… All that evil stuff.**

Taruto- I'm pooped.

Ichigo- This is a fairy tale, dunce!

Taruto- Point… not… taken…

Ichigo- Well, DUH, you have to talk weird.

Taruto- …? n.n

Ichigo- Like this- Whres't art thou going, and whes't art though coming from?

Taruto- You sound like you're on crack :D

Ichigo- Fine! FINE! Have it your way- **again.** Midget!

Taruto- Whatever… back to the point. :: dramatic pose :: Ah, sister… I'm so thirsty, soooo thirsty! I must drink at this brook!

Brook- NEE HEE HEE! DRINK FROM ME AND YOU SHALL BECOME A WOLF!

Ichigo- :: moves in slow motion :: No-o-o-o!

Taruto- :: stops slow motion :: What?

Ichigo- You'll become a wolf and make me into an Ichigo dinner!

Taruto- … I know n.n

Ichigo- :: drags him by arm :: You are **NOT** drinking from that brook!

Taruto- Fine, I'll use the next one… bitch…

**A bit later…**

Taruto- Right, now I'm on the verge of dehydration and will surley die!

Ichigo- _YES!!!_

Taruto- :: listens to brook ::

Brook- :: sinister laughter :: I WILL TURN YOU INTO A TIGER IF YOU DRINK FROM ME!

Taruto- :: raises eyebrow :: O.K, then. :: bends down to drink ::

Ichigo- Nu-u-u!!

Taruto- I know I'll be turned into a tiger and turn you into an Ichigo cut up…

Ichigo- I know but… Tigers have stinky breath, and I have a sensitive nose…

Taruto- Oh good GODS! JUST so we can go with the story, I'll go to the next brook but I HAVE to drink from that one!

Ichigo- … Fine… :: mumbles :: Midget…

Taruto- WOULD YOU SHUT UP?

**Later, again…**

Taruto- :: bored tone :: Oh look, a stream.

Stream- MWAHAHA! I WILL TURN THEE INTO A… Fawn? Aw, come on! That's not big and scary and evil!

Taruto- I don't CARE, I'm DEHYDRATING out here, I'm DRINKIN'!

Ichigo- … Don't…

Taruto- To late… :: turns into fawn :: Aw, crap! He wasn't lieing! I'm… I'm…

Ichigo- :: eyes are 50 more sparkly :: YOU'RE CUTE! :: gets on back of Taruto :: Ride 'em, cowboy!! Oh, and to add some bling-bling, (YO!) here's a pu-u-urdy golden… :: checks book :: garter? Isn't that, like, underwear? Uh… O.K. Bottom line- It's something so you won't run away from me, even if I'm not on your back…

Taruto- Man you're heavy! I mean, jeez, lay off the strawberry pocky, will you?

Ichigo- Everyone knows I'm a super skinny whatever year old! You're just a midget oO Now walk around aimlessly until we find a dwelling, translation for the non-fairy tale reading- Crib to chill in, house, a place to crash, and so on! FORWARD, SOLDIER-FAWN-TARUTO!

Taruto- I don't get the soldier part…

Ichigo- Me neither. JUST GO!

**Hours and hours later…**

Ichigo- Hurry up and find the house, my butts starting to hurt…

Taruto- Yeah, well, you're butt's hurting my back!

Ichigo- :: in flat, fake, wooden voice :: Oh look. A house. It seems to be empty. :: gets off Taruto and looks inside :: It is empty! Oh my. Let us go in fawn, where we shall live happily.

Taruto- Works for me.

Ichigo- :: still in wooden voice :: Oh look, hay for you to sleep in, and a bed for me. Oh! And a little stove. How lovley.

Taruto- Shut the hell up. As long as I don't have to eat your cooking I'm fine.

Ichigo- Grr… Fine. We'll live off nuts and roots and berries and all that.

**A few days later…**

Taruto- OHEMGEE! THERE ARE PEOPLES HUNTING!! GASP GASP GASP! I WANNA JOIN, I WANNA JOIN! I WANNA JOIN!!!

Ichigo- They'll kill you!

Taruto- … I WANNA JOIN!

Ichigo- Wait- They'll KILL you… Alright, go on, and if you're back by sunset I'll let you go again, so I can have another chance at you being killed.

Taruto- Done!

**X.x.X**

Taruto- :: running along forest all fast-ish :: HAHA YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME! MWAHAHA! FUH-WEEE!!!

Hunter (Masaya, stupid as usual :D)- HUZZAH! A FAWN! LET'S TRY AND KILL IT! :: throws stick ::

Stick- :: hits Taruto, but does no damage ::

Masaya- I give up. Pack it up, guys.

Taruto- Oo I'm going home. :: runs back to house ::

House- :: groan :: Not HIM again?

Taruto- Shaddup. :: runs in house ::

Ichigo- Damn you're still alive!!

Taruto- Whatever. I'm going back tomorrow. Better rest up.

Ichigo- … why won't the authoress let me kill him in my sleep?

**X.x.X**

Taruto- :: wakes up, still as fawn. Duh :: Oh sister, the hunt is still a'goin'!! I gotta go, gotta go, goooooooooottttttttaaaaaaa go!!

Ichigo- Fine, if you'll shaddup… And get killed… maybe.

Taruto- :: runs out door all happy ::

**X.x.X**

Masaya- WE BROUGHT THE KING THIS TIME! Cuz the king… I dunno… :: under breath :: Cuz he's a girl stealing bastard? :: in normal voice :: HUZZAH! THERE BE THE FAWN! :: points like a little kid to presents ::

King (Kishuu XD)- Golden GARTER BELT!

Masaya- You mean GARTER. A garter belt is womens undies… oO

Kishuu- oO Oh yeah. I like garter belts better (All fear da pervieness)

Masaya- I BROUGHT A SHARPER STICK THIS TIME! PH34R ) /- - 3!! :: throws sharp stick at Taruto ::

Taruto- Ow. That stings. And you talk like an idiot… Wait, he is an idiot.

Masaya- !! GASP! YOU DARE? :: prods Taruto with stick ::

Taruto- … Ooh, blood… I mean… RETREAT! :: runs back to house ::

Kishuu- FOLLOW THAT FAWN! MWAHAHA! :: scampers after Taruto, who is scampering into the house ::

Ichigo- :: comes out of house :: OHEMGEE! YOUR BLEEDING! :: to self :: It's a start…

Taruto- Saaavveee meeeeeeeeee!!!

Ichigo- Shaddup and get in the house :: kicks Taruto in ::

Kishuu- :: runs up to house and knocks on door ::

Ichigo- :: looks out window :: Ohemgee… he's so… SHEX-_AY_!! :: walks to the shmex-_AY_ alien ::

Kishuu- :: thinks :: Hot-maiden-with-cat-ears-ohemgee!

Ichigo- Hello?

Kishuu- We were pursuing your fawn…

Ichigo- My idiot of a brother! Yeah, yeah…

Kishuu- But you're MUCH more interesting! :: draws self up all formal like :: Wilst thou be my… Ah, screw it! Marry me?

Ichigo- Duh. But I've gotta bring my brother- fairy tale rule. n.n

Kishuu- Sure, whatever! :: carries Ichigo out with Taruto following, looking like he had been smoking his hay-straw-whatever ::

(Auidience- … What?

Sword-chan- Forget it, forget it. BACK TO THE STORY!!)

**x.X.x**

**(At the castle)**

Ichigo- Kay, short, furry, annoying, you can sleep in the royal stable, I screw the ki—Uh, the king and I sleep in there. Got it?

Taruto- The fairy tale says I MUST sleep in a room near you.

Ichigo- :: grumble :: Fine. Sleep in the bathroom u.u

Taruto- The BIG bathroom?

Ichigo- Sure, whatever! :: shoos him into bathroom :: :: locks door ::

Kishuu- You know, this outfit is rather warm…

Ichigo- And I can't let you see me in these rags, now that I'm your fiancé…

Kishuu- YAY! :D

Page (the dude who delivers messages to and from the king or something)- DELIVERY DELIVERY! :: in AOL computer guy voice :: You've got royal mail.

Kishuu- Aw, man… I was just about to… Yes?

Page- You have to keep her a virgin or else she can't marry.

Kishuu- Shit… LETS GET MARRIED NOW!

Ichigo- - Yay.

**And so, within the next day, they were merried, and the wedding was cele—Who am I kidding? They ate CHICKEN WINGS, got drunk off EGGNOGG, and danced with a FAWN! It was critiqued by the _Royal Inquirier,_ and afterwards they 'slept' for a very long time and while they 'slept' they made really strange noises.**

Ichigo- I've got news…

Kishuu- Yez, my darling?

Ichigo- We're gonna have a kid, even though we were protected, but there are just rules to fairy tales.

Kishuu- Sucks.

Ichigo- yup.

**And so, the queen bore a little boy… But her stepmother, who soon heard of her wedding to the hawtie, and how they had gotten a kid and all that, was mad. She had a daughter, who was, of course, really ugly. She only had… ONE EYE!!**

Stepmother (Ryou in a wig. O.O;;)- :: sneaks into castle as grandmother or something with daughter ::

Daughter (Pai, who took out his little hair things)and stepmother- :: take the sleeping queen and put her in a barrel, then push her out the window while laughing all evil like ::

Ryou- Kay, so we're gonna put you in bed and I'll bewitch you to look like a queen. :: does so :: Aw, I can't replace the eye (which is really there, but Pai used his smartness to make it look like it wasn't. However you do that). Dra-a-at. Well, we'll just push you over to your side, be careful that your panyhose bosom doesn't fall off, and cover that side of your face.

Pai- … I despise this fanfiction. I'm in drag, for Pete's sake.

Ryou- PETE? I don't know anything about the Pete at the gay bar! Uh-uh!

Pai- … u.u O…Kay…

**Meanwhile-**

Ichigo- You know, I'm not going to drown, and I can claw my way out of this… But fairy tale rules forbid me to. Drat. Now I've gotta die… Boo.

**X.x.X**

Kishuu- :: comes in later in the morning :: How's my darling?

Ryou- I am her mother, come to take care of her. She's very weak- please, leave her be.

Pai- :: stiffles giggle ::

Kishuu- o.O She had a stepmom. And evil stepmom.

Ryou- Ah… um… I'm… her aunt! She just called me mother because I was much nice… Yeah…

Kishuu- O… Kay. See ya! :: walks out ::

**Later that night…**

Chamber maid (Purin)- :: is sleepily watching over the 'queen', the 'aunt' having gone to her separate room ::

Ichigo- :: comes in all ghosty :: How fares my child, how fares my fawn :: strokes fawns back, cradles kid :: I will come two nights more but never again. :: mumble :: I hate this part…

Purin- OHEMGEE OHEMGEE!!!!!

Pai- I'll report you to the king if you don't SHUT UP!

Purin- Uh, you can't… this is… a DREAM! :: wiggly fingers ::

Pai- u.u If you say so. :: goes back to sleep ::

Purin- :: goes off to tell king ::

Kishuu- OHEMGEE! I must see this myself!

**Dah next night…**

Kishuu- So, we have to wait till midnight?

Purin- … I brought cards!!

**At EXACTLY midnight…**

Kishuu- Got any 4s?

Purin- Go fish xP

Kishuu- Damni—HOLY!

Ichigo- :: all ghosty again :: :: mumble :: I really, **REALLY** hate this part! 'How fares my child, how fares my fawn, once more shall I come, but never again' … :: fake gags while vanishing ::

Kishuu- OHEMGEE! That ain't mah queen! :: snaps :: Oh servent?

Minto- :: grumbles about small parts :: Yes?

Kishuu- Get the old hag and her daughter into a barrel in the morning, then push them out the window, as the did Queen Ichigo.

Minto- Gladly. :: malicious grin at killing :: :: goes to get barrel ::

Purin- … So, got any 8s?

Kishuu- Damnit!

**The next mornin'**

Minto- They hath been pushed out the window, SIR!

Kishuu- Yaay!! :: goes around all happy :: This is the happy part!

Ichigo- :: appears quiet solidly :: Whee I'm solid!

Kishuu- REJOICING TIME! :: calls everyone in his castle to gather in circle and rejoice ::

**And so, all the people in the castle sang a song…**

Zakuro- :: boredly throws flower petals around ::

Retasu- :: sings song :: OH THE QUEEN HAS COME BAACCK! QUEEN ICHIGOOOOOO!! :: her glasses break :: Damnit…

**And so, they lived 'happily ever after'… With protection when they 'slept'.**

**X.x.X**

Sword-chan- Whoa. I finished this chapter super fast, but it's… 5 pages long…

Kishuu- Because it was in script form.

Sword-chan- Fine, we'll go with that. But it sounds kewler to say it was because it was fun. Which is was - So please, review if you liked it, hated it, or just did this because you were bored!

Pai- … I despise you.

Sword-chan- I know, I know! :: laughs ::

Pai- … I mean it. :: gets out knife ::

Sword-chan- AAAH!! :: runs around room, screaming ::

Kishuu- While the idiots run around, not knowing that is a RUBBER knife, I'll say…

**Sword-chan does not own the fairy tale or Tokyo Mew Mew. Her brother owns the rubber knife, she owns the deck of cards, flower petals, and her baby cousin owns the doll used for the child. Don't sue, idiots. -.-;;**

Sword-chan- Rubber?? :: bends blade back and forth :: Kewlio!! See ya next time!


	2. Brier Rose XTiny ShonenAiX

Sword-chan- Hello, person! XP I'll reply to reviews at the end. That is, if I've gotten any. :: has started the chapter after posting the first ::

Kishuu- And it's gonna be…?

Sword-chan- Brier Rose, which is the German version of Sleeping Beauty, or maybe it IS Sleeping Beauty, except… there aren't any fairies. It's thirteen old women, but one can't be invited and, the mother of the prince does not eat children and a lot of other stuff… yeah. So I'm taking the tallest characters for the king and queen- Zakuro and Pai. I don't like that pairing, but they're both tall. So nyer… This chapter is going to be as humorous as I can make it without my intimate sense taking over… :: romantic sigh ::

**DISCLAIMER- I do not own Tokyo Mew Mew OR Brier Rose. I own a copy of the zillionth addition of the book that the Grimm Brothers put it in… So you're an idiot to sue me. And I have no money to sue for. At all. And my Dad knows people. So nyer nyer nyer.**

Zakuro- Oh, I hate doing this… :: turns to Pai :: We have no children, yet we desperatly want one, and I desperatly do NOT want to bang you.

Pai- :: nods solemly while trying not to gag ::

Masha- :: appears out of absolutley NO WHERE, painted green for frog effect :: I SHALL GIVE YOU A CHILD!! :: vanishes in puff of smoke ::

**6 months later, Zakuro gave birth to a child…**

Royal Doctor (Masaya)- IT'S A B-- :: checks :: YUP IT'S A BOY!! :D

Zakuro- :: whisper :: Why do we always have idiotic doctors and such?

Pai- O.O;; Masaya's the only idiot here… You're insulting the doctors.

Masaya- And such!! :D

Sword-chan- :: randomly pops in in burnt kimono from other ficcys :: I bet you're wondering- Isn't Brier Rose about a girl? To bad. :: twitch ::

Zakuro- DAMNIT!

Pai- What?

Zakuro- We have knives right here! I should've killed her when I had the chance!

Everyone in room- :: edges away from Zakuro slowly ::

Masaya- OOH! SHARP, POINTY, SHINY OBJECTS! :: looks at knife and cuts finger while doing so ::

Nurse (Taruto… Pffft)- WHY AM I IN DRAG?!?

Sword-chan- :: is not there, but you can hear her voice :: Because you have pig-tails… whoo—Hey, where's my echo effect? I DEMAND AN ECHO EFFECT! Let's try it again… :: echoes :: Because (because) you have (you have) pig-tails… (pigtails). WHOO!

Masaya- OHEMGEE! WHO'S THERE? :: looks at fingers :: Was it _YOUS_?! AHA! :: points down :: It was my—

Taruto- AH! I AIN'T LISTENING!!

Masaya- … feets?

Taruto- :: sigh of relief ::

**And so, they celebrated their childs birthday…**

Pai- Oh my. We have an error…

Zakuro- u.u What?

Pai- We only have one dozen gold plates, and one dozen and ONE Magical Women (o.O;;) are coming.

Zakuro- u.u Simple- Dixie paper plates works wonders.

Pai- Fairy tale rules…

Zakuro- … Then don't invite one, you dunce.

Pai- DARE CALL ME- AN ALIEN WITH AN I.Q OF LIKE, 20 MILLION- A DUNCE?

Zakuro- Yes. :: goes off to beat up dummy of Pai ::

**At teh parteh…**

Woman 1- I give you the gift of… urm, I think it was goodness…

Woman 2- I give you… beauty? Yeah, we'll go with that… Isn't it a he? Oh well. Beauty, anyways.

Woman 3- INTELLIGENCE! Un-like some people… :: stares at hunter/doctor/caterer Masaya ::

Masaya- :: stitcks shish-ca-bob in his ear ::

_Since the book didn't list all of them, I'm gonna give you gag gifts._

Woman 4- I give you the name Keiichiro (Starting to catch on?)

Woman 5- I give you the ability to dress in drag and no one telling the difference!

Woman 6- I give you love for cakes!

Woman 7- I give you the gift to love anyone, no matter what their gender, but only if you really love them! (How specific…)

Woman 8- I give you a makeup kit! For all your cross dressing needs! CoverMew! -

Woman 9- … I give you the gift of being a gentleman.

Woman 10- … Uh… I give you… really sparkly eyes o.O;;

Woman 11- I grant ye shall have grace! (Finally a fairy tale-ish thing…)

Woman 12- I give you—

Woman 13- AH! I HATH NOT BEEN INVITED! What? I'm not supposed to talk like that? Oh. AH YOU JERKS! I AIN'T INVITED? I GRANT-- :: moves closer to crib :: -- I GRANT ON YOUR 15th BIRTHDAY YOU SHALL PRICK YOUR FINGER ON A SPINDLE OR SOME OTHER SHARP OBJECT AND DIE!!

Woman 12- … Oh great, more sharp objects. Just like the insane asylum. (Ignore that. :: shifty eyes ::)

Pai- Ah! We worked so hard on painting Masha green without short circuiting him so we can have a kid, and it's gonna DIE?

Zakuro- o.o;; Shut up. Woman number 12 didn't give a gift yet. Maybe she can help. :: under breath :: Not that I care.

Pai- What?

Zakuro- Nothing… um… ur… Dearest.

Pai- … ROYAL DOCTOR?!

Doctor (who is not Masaya)- Mm… Yesh?

Pai- My wife had her brain replaced. Can we keep it that way?

Woman 12- SHUT UP! Or I'll take you all down!

Masaya- We all gonna die! :: makes gun noises :: Pshoo, pshoo! WE ALL GONNA DIE BITCH!

Sword-chan- (in white coat) I end up as my enemies… :: sigh :: Ooh Masaya? It's time for your suh-le-e-ep!

Masaya- NOO! :: runs around screaming ::

Sword-chan- :: injects sleepy stuff in his butt and runs away :: TIIIIMMMMBEEEERRRR!!!

Masaya- Trees? Whe-- :: falls over snoring ::

Pai- o.o I'm gonna go outlaw spindles.

Woman 12- I grant thee you will only sleep 100 years. Yay.

**And so, the child was safe from Masaya as he grew up. Many confused him for a girl, and it sorta creeped people out…**

Pai- Think our kid is gender confused?

Zakuro- Why wouldn't he be? He's prettier than I am.

Pai- … Your pretty?

Zakuro- AHEM?! Grr…

Pai- I mean- Your pretty!

Zakuro- That's better…

**Meanwhile… (in Keiichiro's room) (Keiichiro is currently 11 years old)**

Keiichiro- :: twirls around with teddy bear :: I feel pretty… oh so pretty… Na da da da… da da da… What Mr.Snuggles? It _hurts_? OHEMGEE! I'm **SO** sorry! :: hugs him :: Let's have some tea… :: wipes away non-exsistent tears on teddy bear ::

Sword-chan- :: peeks in through crack in door :: :: in high pitched voice :: Oh Keiichiro! You're so naïve! And so cute!

Keiichiro- Aw! Mr.Snuggles, your so sweet! :: hugs bear ::

Sword-chan- And Kishuu is shmexay!

Keiichiro- … Mr.Snuggles, you're gay?

Sword-chan- I'm a GIRL damnit! You're confused!

Keiichiro- … I know you're a girl…

Sword-chan- o.O;;

**Keiichiro's 15th Birthday**

Keiichiro- Huh. Mom and dad are out hunting for magical strawberries…

**In reality…**

Zakuro- Shoot the mahou shoujo! Only 50 cents!

Pai- :: attempts to shoot Zakuro ::

Zakuro- Not me, idiot! Ichigo! (Mahou shoujo- magical girl… Ichigo- strawberry… Magical strawberries… get it?)

Ichigo- EEE!! :: runs around ::

**Back to Keiichiro.**

Keiichiro- Huh. Guess I'll explore! :: skips up stairs to tallest tower :: Tra la la la la…

Retasu- (She's in peasant clothes) Oh, oh… Oh, oh…

Keiichiro- What are you doing?

Retasu- I'm spinng flax…

Keiichiro- No you aren't…

Retasu- Oh, whoops! :: mumble :: Damned Sword-chan changed the script… :: normal voice :: I mean, I'm uh… whacking my whacking my hands with a… stick?

Keiichiro- Why?

Retasu- Uh… because it makes my hands soft. O.o

Keiichiro- Why?

Retasu- Because it becomes so… uh… beaten it's delicate!

Keiichiro- I'm delicate! :D

Retasu- Yes, you can become more delicate. Just whack your hand!

Keiichiro- … uh… no.

Retasu- :: evil :: DO IT DAMNIT!

Keiichiro- :: whimpers :: Fine. O.K. :: whacks hand, and in the prosscess pricks finger :: Ah! :: falls onto conviently placed bed ::

Retasu- MWAHAHA! I AM REALLY THE 13th LADY! MWAHAHA! :: runs away laughing evilly :: :: pops back in :: Oh yeah, he'll fall asleep with the rest of the castle for 100 years. :: casts spell so the parents are in the castle ::

**50 years later**

Sword-chan- Buh dum duah dum…

Ichigo- Don't you like… age?

Sword-chan- No… I'm the authoress. But you ARE starting to get wrinkles… :: evil grin ::

Ichigo- NUUU! :: goes to get plastic surgery ::

**50 MORE years later… (Whoo 100!!)**

Ryou- I hath heard about all the stories about the girl (rumor got twisted over time) in the castle!

Minto- What are you, stupid? You'll die! There are all those briers (thorns)!

Ryou- But she is supposedly as beautiful as a rose! Hence the name they hath given her brier rose!

Minto- I thought you were gay…?

Ryou- Nope, I'm bi! :D

Minto- So fan girls won't kill you?

Ryou- Mainly.

**And the moment Ryou stepped into the maze of briers and roses and hedges and such, the 100 years passed, and the plants parted as he walked towards them.**

Ryou- Jeez, this doesn't seem so bad! The other guys must've been real wimps to die here… :: sees skeleton :: EE!! :: runs in random direction, lengthening his journey by- gasp- 5 minutes! :: :: runs into door :: Hey, this must be the door into the castle… :: walks in castle and sees stairs :: And hey, all those sleeping people are eerie! So I'm going to go up this convieniantly placed staircase! :: runs up stairs into tower ::

Keiichiro- :: is sleeping peacfully ::

Ryou- Hey, waita minute. That ain't no chick!

Keiichiro- :: thinking, as he heard it in dream :: No, I am not live poultry recently hatched, thankyou!

Ryou- Well, he's still kinda pretty, looks sweet. And I never said I wasn't gay…

Sword-chan- Actually, you said you were a bi so technically you did, but you're both gay and straight at the same time, so… uh… I'm confused. :: poofs out again ::

Ryou- o.o Whatever. :: bends over and kisses Keiichiro, who awakens immeadiatly ::

Keiichiro- … I'm… awake?

Ryou- :: nods with eyes all… weirdy :: Yeah…

**And so they were married, bladdy blah.**

**AND THEY ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER. YAY.**

Sword-chan- :: wipes tears away :: So beautiful! So beautiful!

Kishuu- Yeah… sure… o.o;;

REVIEW REPLIES (I got some! :O)

Lilly- Thanks! I'm glad you like it. . Sorry, I'm trying to even out the main charries. ." so it'll be a while till it's Ichigo's turn again, I think.

Ichigo- Damnit! :: snaps fingers ::

Tala'sgrl- Uh… Here you go?

Krys- Of course there's another one! Here! :: presents fic to you on plate :: uh.. and then there'll be another one. And another. And a lot more. Oh good GOD! :: gets shocky thingies :: She died! :: shocks the Krys :: CLEAR! CLEAR! CLEAR!

By the way, I got another new name. I like it a lot better than the rest. Twysted.Care.Bear. Haha. Again, I mooch of the comedic genius Krys with the 'Y' in place of 'I'. :: hopes comedic genius thing will blind her from the fact she's been mooched off of :: I promise I won't mooch off so much people will call me Twyst. Haha. Nope! I'm teh Sword-chan, Teh Sw0rd, Teh Sw0rd-chan, Teh Pocky Queen, and stuffs.


	3. The Singing Bone

Sword-chan- I had my next chapter all written out, but I accidentally deleted it… Whoops. .'' So I'm going to do a different fairy tale for this chapter… It's 'The Singing Bone' It's kinda short, but let's see how long I can extend it with my lovely authoress powers.

Kishuu- We're in trouble.

Sword-chan- :: nod ::

X.x.X- The Singing Bone -X.x.X

King (Sir Pai)- That wild boar is causing such trouble... It's ruining fields and killing cattle. Poor cow cows. :(

Adviser (Taruto)- Don't forget it's tearing the humans to pieces. Wait, isn't that good? o.O

Pai- ... um... maybe? WAIT! FAIRY TALE RULES! MUST RESTRAIN! Taruto, put up a notice. Whoever gets the boar marries my daughter, the princess.

Princess (Ichigo. Spoilt little... o.o)- Oh dear, not again. -.-

**X...Elsewhere...X**

Kishuu- :: sees notice :: OHEMGEE! I want to catch the boar and marry the princess!! .

Masaya- No, I'll marry her (They're brothers, just an F.Y.I. Pick who's hotter, smarter, and has better hair... :: blinkuu :: Hm, how hard is that? Sarcasm, there)!! Stupid brother! (A/N- Hee hee. My dog is twitching in his sleep. HAHAHAHAHAAAA!! Oh, dear, I woke him. o.o Now he's asleep again. Wuh-hoo)

Masaya- I'm the boldest, the bravest, AND I'm on the kendo team!

Kishuu- I'm... :: reads script :: I'm not innocent, ignorant, and I don't think I'm that good at heart!! Whatever. I'm just plain better than you. And I'm hot! o Ladies love me.

Masaya- Feh. Your hair looks greasy and you're pale.

Kishuu- Well EXCUSE ME, you freakin' locked me in the basment as a child!

Masaya- ... You deserved it. o.o

Kishuu- :: kicks Masaya in shins and runs away ::

Masaya- Ow... Kay, fine, how about we enter on oppisite sides of the field. I'll go in the evening, and you'll go in the morning.

Kishuu- I'd say no and kill you with this convienently placed steak knife, but Sword-chan is threatening me with tranquilizers and fairy tale rules shan't let me. So I'll say yes.

Masaya- :: can't comprehend what Kishuu is saying, for he is stupid ::

**X...Morning...X**

Kishuu- :: walks short way when he sees this midgety dawrf thing ::

Midgety Dwarf Thing (Purin xD)- Hellllloooooooooo!!! :: makes her own echo :: Helllllllllloooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!

Kishuu- I can freaking hear you.

Purin- I know, I just like echoes!!!

Kishuu- O.K, well, whatever. Just what are you here for?

Purin- I'm giving you a spear cause you're hot o But Taruto is the only one for me... o Anyways, get that boar so I can go and say I gave you the spear, meet up with Taruto and lovely things will happen.

Kishuu- ... O....K then... :: goes off to find the boar ::

**X...A Few Hours Later...X**

Boar (Zakuro in a suit)- I see a person...

Kishuu- I see the boar!

Zakuro- Must... run... :: runs straight at Kishuu ::

Kishuu- :: holds out spear and pierces the boars heart, but not really. o.o ::

Zakuro- :: blandly :: Oh, ow. :: fake faints ::

Kishuu- WHOO! :: slings boar over shoulder to tell king :: :: comes across his home ::

Masaya- Huzzah, hooha, I shall kill the boar! No one else but me can do it because I'm a big FAT AROGANT IDIOT WITH GREAT HAIR! :: sees brother :: :: is angry :: Come here, brother, and rest.

Kishuu- '.' He's cracked! Urm, o.k. :: goes to 'rest' ::

Masaya- Tell me how you got the boar.

**And so Kishuu told him the whole story of the boar and such.**

Masaya- Grr!! :: takes out steak knife and kills Kishuu ::

Fangirls- NOOOOO!!! :: lunge at Masaya angirly ::

Masaya- :: holds knife threatingenly ::

Sword-chan- :: amongst fangirls :: RUN! RUN! RUN WHILE YOU CAN! PERFECT BOY SHOWS THE IDIOT HE IS! RUUNNNN!!!

Masaya- :: goes to bury brother under a bridge and takes boar to king ::

**X...At The Castle...X**

Pai- Whoa, the idiot did it! Hm, well, you can have my daughter's hand then. :: drags Ichigo out ::

Ichigo- Oh, fu... :: sigh :: Fine.

**X...A Few Years Later...X**

Random Peasant Guy- Zohemgee! There's a bone below the sand on the bridge! :: picks up really white bone ::

Bone- :: sings :: My brother slew me, and buried my bones-- ah, frick the song. My brother killed me and took the princes.

RPG (NOT Roleplay Game, RANDOM PEASANT GUY!)- Kewlio. :: takes bone to king, for reason I care not ::

**X...Castle...X**

Pai- ZOHEMGEE! :: turns to Masaya :: YOU SHALL BE LOCKED UP! HUZZAH! :: throws Masaya in the brig ::

Sword-chan- In the original the little brother Kishuu dies, but I already did that once Saiken, and won't do it again unless it's called for. SO I SHALL RESSURECT KISHUU!

Kishuu- :: comes back to life :: Yay!

Ichigo- YAY! Marry me?

Kishuu- WHOO!

Sword-chan- :: as priest or whatever their religion says or whatever :: You are now alien and neko shoujo. o Have fun.

**X.x.X**

Sword-chan- That was so short it's pathetic!

Kishuu- I married Ichigo! Again!

Sword-chan- Wuh-hoo!


End file.
